1-2 Business Daze

What was that recipe again?

One Gabapentin, a single generic Advil PM , one cup of warm lemon Calm. I had a canned vodka thing earlier but...

I carefully reach down to find the remote avoiding any sudden movement that could shift this feeling. It’s actually there, things are really working out. My pillows are in place, it’s maybe a little hot. Do not over think this just be casual here and close your eyes.

What is this blinking light, ignore it.

It’s burning through my eyelids. Again, the careful reach down for the tiny Apple remote, it’s not there. I reach under my cooling pillow, neck rest, heating pad and body pillows. Well, look at that….it’s not charged.

FOR FUCKS SAKE!

I get up, calm, very calm and put a T-shirt over the Apple TV thing while I try not to think about having to pee. I get back in bed knowing 100 percent I will be up in 3 minutes to pee. I glance my phone it’s 2:47 am.

I keep my eyes almost closed on the toilet, Jesus the moon is really coming into the bathroom, my cat walks in ready to take on the day. I spin an empty toilet paper holder, I use a towel whatever it’s my house.

I know he’s going to race into my room I pick up my pace down the hallway but he beats me and gets right into the closet to hide.

I turn the lights on but that does not stop a platform bed injury to the shin, how did things unravel in 7 minutes? I see him on his back playing dead, goddammit I hate him so much I love it, I return him to his bed 3 times.

I am up, I am so very up.

I am also riding that sleeping pill window that is not awful. I watch 2 episodes of a BBC series on Amazon that is so good, or not. I doze off just before 5 am. My eyes open at 6:48 am. like they always do, I try and force myself back to sleep by squinting. By 7ish I can hear people on my street doing things.

My phone dings, my stomach drops thinking of that sleep window, did I reach out ? I aggressively reach for my phone, carefully scan, praise be it’s a reminder to check in for my workout class that I booked totally coherently. I decide I cannot afford this level of financial loss and pull on some workout pants.

I make sure to tell everyone that I haven’t slept at the check in.

I don’t know this teacher subbing for the usual person, a man. He’s nice enough but he’s yelling a lot.

“I want you down, I want you down as low as you can go ladies! ”

I am just happy I made it here, I am down but also hey..

I AM UP SO LET’S CALM DOWN?

Oh my God, he’s coming over to adjust me, this is my worst fear and it’s not even 8 am. The woman next to me looks like she can read my mind as he physically moves me around and I pour sweat. I reach for my towel I sort of peed on last night to wipe my face, whatever it’s my face.

He claps his hands and yells so loud that his headset makes an awful crackle noise then again….

“Down, as low as you can possibly go ladies!”

I wanted to scream

SHUT UP, SHUT UP …Please just shut up!

I see him head over to adjust another woman, she looks like she watched the same Amazon series. I am dying to know what she said as he leaves her area minus any adjusting.

He attempts to yell again but the headset crackle, also why the headset there are 5 of us? He’s still yelling but we cannot hear anything or maybe I have reached some kind of white noise level.

I want to scream again.

OH …WE HIT IT, US LADIES HIT THE BOTTOM SOME TIME AGO. WE ARE SO FAR BEYOND LOW WE CANNOT GO ANY FUCKNIG LOWER, OK ?WE ARE ROCK BOTTOM OVER HERE KYLE!

I didn’t say any of that, I thanked him for what was a good class. I tripped on a crack on the pavement as I walked to my car, I looked back at it like it had attacked me. I pulled up my backwards pants and I too was ready to take on the day!

Tomorrow or Wednesday, no one starts anything on Tuesday.