Giving Birth v. Adopting a Cat

An American Labor Day Dream

I pulled into the hospital “valet” in between contractions, enough time to look for cheaper parking, I have seen hotel rooms for less! Things really escalated in the elevator on my way up to labor and delivery, in hindsight I can definitely  see paying the 49.99 and skipping the gift shop.  A nurse asked me if I knew I was pregnant, I screamed indeed I did and could she or anyone get it out STAT, it felt right using TV terminology. During what seemed a dangerously fast gurney ride  that same nurse gave me the worst wax I have had to this day!  Off we went for an emergency C- section. I was hoping to see my doctor, it was her day off, this guy looked like a temp but OK.   The entire process took about an hour, same as a wash n wax.  I was handed a healthy baby boy  and wheeled out. Just as I was about to rest my eyes, I was roused to enjoy a fruit cup and meet the insurance paperwork team.  Wow,  talk about meticulous they made sure I hit all the correct boxes, I was very tired, and legally anesthetized yet they were steadfast in their work. Upon learning I was a single mom their concerns really amped up,  they made sure each digit of my social, bank details and insurance was correct several times, even taking the time to read the terms out loud, that really put me out again!  The nurse rolled my now screaming baby into the room with me and relayed we would stay the night. I waited for more teams, none came.  One person did enter minus knocking every couple hours timed exactly to when my baby quieted to wake him and scan our wristbands making sure I had the right baby.  Concerning and worse than Coachella. I did enjoy the dramatic wheelchair exit they legally require but was still hoping for at least a brochure? Probably pamphlets at the sign out, no sign out. I turned around to ask the nurse wheeling me if he knew how often a baby eats only to see the electric glass doors sliding to a close. Validating the parking was taking forever, seems like the baby would qualify as purchasing something ?

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